It was a slow Saturday afternoon. I was about to start doing something when my mom asked me if I could take her to the local Spar for a “few things.” We drove down and I immediately noticed that the parking area was a bit full. But I also knew we wouldn’t have too many things to carry, so I parked at the nearest available spot. We went inside and I took the first trolley we could find. I noticed that the wheels were a bit wonky, but since we were only getting “a few things” it didn’t pose too big of a problem. My mom handed me a list and asked me to get those things while she got the other things. I had a moment of confusion. What did she mean by other things? Did she mean the other two things because my list was already long? But my naive optimism caused me not to question, and I went and got the other things.
When I met my mom again after getting the items, I began to realise one very obvious thing. This was not going to be just an in-and-out excursion, and these were not just a “few things.” I stood in line and immediately started to make conclusions in my mind; we were not going to be able to carry all these things out of the store, so we would need to use this wonky trolley all the way to the car that was parked further away from the entrance because I didn’t think we would need to be close. I was stressing, but my mom was chilling, and in some ways that just made me worry a bit more. Did she not just realise what was happening? We were ill-prepared, and I knew we were going to struggle.
We left the store, and I contemplated changing the items over to a new trolley, but at the time I didn’t think that there were any trolleys available. I had change for the car guard in one hand along with my keys, and my other hand was pushing the cart. My mom was walking in front of the trolley and carrying a few of the delicate things. I was already anticipating a dreadful journey with my hands being full and the trolley being faulty. In all of this my mom was just blissfully unaware. We managed to get to the car, and I gave him the money and thanked the car guard and we were off.
“What was that mom?” I said as soon as we were driving.
“What?” she said completely oblivious to the cesspool of thoughts that had been swirling in my mind since we entered the store.
That’s when it clicked. My mom was used to my dad going with her, and my dad handles these things: pushing the trolley, driving, packing in the groceries, making sure the trolley is working, etc. After almost 30 years of marriage, she had earned her passenger princess status, and it was well-deserved given the other things that she had to handle. But I remember sitting back and thinking, I don’t know what it’s like to just relax like my mom in these circumstances knowing that someone else will handle those things for me. I unfortunately don’t have the privilege. I have to have my ducks in a row before I even make plans. “Is there enough parking? Is it safe? How late will I be there? Do I have enough cash on me? Is it safe to go alone? How do I get there and what is the safest route to take? What type of event is it because I might need to take a change of shoes?” (Ladies, we know.)
I know that I’m not the only one who has dealt with this before, and it’s not necessarily a female problem. The point that I want to get across today is not gender-based or about being independent; I want to talk about letting go of control.
I got home, and I pondered on this thought for a while.
“Must be nice to be a passenger princess,” I thought to myself.
Even though this happened a while back, lately the Lord has reminded me of this anecdote by showing me what He was really trying to teach me through it.
There is one underlying point that I noticed from this story, and that is that I had become accustomed to doing things on my own so much so that I already had pre-made plans and methods in my head. It dawned on me recently how I have applied this thinking to faith as well. I want to be in control of the car, the trolley, the carrying, and the navigating. Now you’ll probably be saying, “Rebecca, you had no choice. You had to make it work.” But looking back, somewhere along the line that need turned into a want because I became comfortable with the “independent” label. I am learning in this year how to release my need to control. We cannot tackle matters of faith with worldly methods. So to argue that I’m justified in my frustration because I was forced to be “independent” is kind of missing the point. Contrary to my previously held beliefs, trusting God looks a lot like my mom was acting in the story shared above.
My mom had an attitude of bliss and ease the whole way while I was getting frustrated. She was so accustomed to “being taken care of” that she didn’t even worry about it. She had become used to the passenger seat.
Let’s apply this attitude to faith. Walking with God is not about being lazy, but it is about complete trust in God and the act of relinquishing control. It is not one where we drive the car; no, we actually sit in the passenger seat, and the Holy Spirit drives. It is one where we just walk without fear or worry because He is with us. If we continue with the shop analogy, He will carry the groceries, He will make sure we are safe, He will guide us. There would be no need for me to figure out how things are going to get done. If He led me there, all of the unknowns would be left to Him.
I am not attempting to say that working hard and planning is wrong. I am also not trying to say that independence is inherently wrong. But I think that many of us are frustrated because we are attempting to carry burdens that we were never meant to carry. It is not your responsibility to have all the answers or to know what to do. You cannot anticipate every problem that may arise. You cannot predict people or even yourself. You cannot handle every situation with perfection no matter how much you plan. You cannot take responsibility for how others react to you or anything else, for that matter. Why then are you tiring yourself out trying to understand problems that were meant to be handled by God?
1 Peter 5:7 says “Cast all your burdens upon Him for He cares for you.”
There is only one action that is required based off of this verse, and that is to give our burdens to Him. End of story.
If I may be vulnerable, I have learned that it is actually prideful and selfish of me to assume that I, as a mere human being, have a greater capacity than God to handle the problems in my life. And I may not say it with my mouth, but my actions will speak of it.
I am now fully in my passenger princess era. Jesus is driving, and I am buckled up and chilling in the passenger seat. Where are we off to? I really don’t know. But I can rest knowing that He is in control and that wherever He takes me is exactly where I need to be.
Isaiah 30:15
“For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, ‘In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.’ But you were unwilling.”
